A naming ceremony is about deepening our identity, more than about changing it. Seeking a spiritual name often helps cleanse us of our past. It cleanses us of old beliefs, old prejudices and judgments. It helps us make a new start. By clearing away so many things, it helps us see ourselves in a deeper way.

The naming ceremony is a quest. At each turn, it has two parts. There is the requesting and giving of the name. There is the accepting of the name. You may ask several very sincere people to give you your name. Each will see you in a different way. Each will speak the name that matches that seeing. Each name given will carry some truth.

But it is up to you to accept that truth as being your own. It is up to you to own and understand that part of you which the name points to. It is up to you to pick the name given which points to the very core of yourself, the very part that is essential in every thing that you do.

The ceremony begins with the giving of tobacco and sometimes a gift to the name giver. It is good to smoke the pipe together, to speak of your life and your vision.

The name giver can give the tobacco and gift back, by leaving it where you placed it. If so he/she will not give you a name. You will need to go to someone else. There is no stigma to this, and in fact it is a very honest thing to do.

If the name giver takes the tobacco then you should wait for three days before expecting a name. It may take longer, sometimes much longer, before the name comes. Be patient. It will come in time.

Once the name comes and you accept it, it is good to take a sweat lodge and cleanse yourself of the old name. Praise it for what it has done for you, say what it is you would like to leave behind with it. Pray hard, sweat hard, feel the change in your body. It is good to change styles of dressing, wearing your hair, places you live, even places you frequent. This will help you be seen in a different way by people. It will help the old skin fall away.

After the sweat it is good to have a feast and a give-away. This is a nice time to pass on things that belonged to “the other person” as a remembrance of the goodness that was your other life. It also makes the break with the past more precise, more loving, and more to the point.